Rage dream

Posted on Wednesday, October 18th, 2017 at 7:13 am

Had a rage dream this morning, my body expressing its rejection of the two weeks of pain and discomfort and loss of ability that I endured after surgery.  Intellectually, I have managed to stay on top of it all, even though I have grumped about it from time to time.  I planned for it well in advance of the event, worked hard to have everything ready for the recovery.  I managed to be pleasant to the hospital staff and friends.  But down in the primal core, the circuits were screaming, and I haven’t really given them an out.

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So the result was a dream.  I was racing in a long distance speed scooter event, going through an ultramodern complex parking lot near the end of the race.  I had the lead in the race.  The race track suddenly had people waking all over the track, it was poorly defined, and I lost my way.  My legs were knotting in multiple charley horses, I was short of breath, I was nauseous, pretty much everything I experienced in the hospital in the first few days, except in different locations on the body.

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I ended up inside these ultramodern buildings and I began to take out my frustrations slinging the scooter around, breaking lamps and decorative accessories, nothing major or fixed.  It was an expression of physical rage, anger at the race managers for their incompetence for costing me the race win.  Finally someone from the race caught up with me, and I became rather verbal, laying blame and liability on them for the results of the rage.  I ended up walking away from the race, getting a ride from an undefined friend when I woke up.

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I just hope that my primal body got it all out of its system in that roaring fit of anger.  The rest of me is ready to move on.

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