The urge to write

Posted on Saturday, October 17th, 2020 at 7:40 am

I have been having a writing urge the last couple of days, this morning for example. Nothing new to report from the last report, other than the sausage gravy and slippery bulldozer #2. But I have been actively avoiding sending more emails. And I’ve been avoiding chatrooms.

Despite the high levels of pain and discomfort and isolation for nearly three weeks, I have managed to keep my sanity. But after so much being internalized, there is an urge to bust loose. Kind of like the horde barking at the darkness. A need for confirmation after being brutalized from the inside out for two and a half weeks. Yes, I still exist.

The central heat was on tonight, was in the 50s briefly. In the 60s as dawn breaks, a warming trend. The furnace will be turned off and windows opened today.

Been a hit and miss style to passing the time. A short attention span, a lack of patience, and a sense of fatigue says it pretty well. I am improving, but not to the level I want. I want “WHEW!” Instead, movies about pain. Politics. People with their heads en procto. Not my usual mix. But it’s hard to avoid that stuff these days.

I still survive. My usual self is still inside here whenever my gut and Dixie permit.

I discovered what was causing the fuss this morning, a opossum was in the yard. I bopped it on the head to get it to play ‘possum, then hoisted it over the fence. I last saw it wandering across the street to hide.

Generally doing better as the slippery bulldozers are making their way through my digestive tract. Still not out of the woods, but the trees are getting thinner, and I am more capable. I will probably make cheese risotto tonight.

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